Choosing a Path

With quiet purpose, nine Holy Cross graduates have chosenan exclusive path that will change their lives—and, they hope,the lives of many others. They will become Jesuits.

 

Michelle M. Murphy

Illustrations by James Steinberg

 

Timothy O’Brien, n.S.J., ’06 is from King of Prussia, Pa., and went to Catholic elementary and secondary schools. As a political science major with a Latin American concentration, O’Brien was not only the valedictorian of his class but he also won the Vannicelli Washington Semester Program Award. After graduation, he returned to Washington, D.C., to work at the Justice Department. He entered the Jesuits last August and completed his first 30-day retreat in January 2009.

The Worst-kept Secret
For me, it definitely all started with the Spiritual Exercises. I did the five-day retreat twice—once at the beginning of junior year, and again in January of my senior year. At the first retreat, I was kind of cool to the idea of the Jesuits; it was a pretty remote thought. But it taught me about the heart of Ignatian spirituality, which changed how I thought about faith, how I thought about prayer. It was a very personal and moving experience, and I keep coming back to that. The second time I went, I was thinking more about the Jesuits. But ultimately, I still punted at the end of college. I still wasn’t ready to make any decisions.

Holy Cross is very good at posing the question of vocation; that we are more than what we do, that a vocation—not just being a Jesuit or a priest or a religious of any kind—is something that requires discernment. Parenthood is a vocation. We talked about these kinds of things all the time. For me, the contact with Jesuits was huge; without Holy Cross, I certainly wouldn’t have entered the Society. It helped me understand the fit of the Jesuits in the church, what my life as a Jesuit would look like. When I worked in D.C. after college, I thought about law school, grad school—all sorts of possibilities. I also taught Sunday school and worked in the RCIA program at Holy Trinity parish in Georgetown, and got to know those Jesuits. I had dinner with Alice Laffey when she came to town for a conference, and she observed that I seemed very engaged when talking about the Jesuits, and not so much when talking about other parts of my life. My vocation to the Society became the worst-kept secret among my friends!”
 
Thomas Olson, S.J., ’02 was a politicalscience major who also studied music at Berklee College of Music in Boston. Originally from Rutland, Mass., he served as cantor at his home parish. Unavailable to be interviewed for this story, Olson is completing his third year of First Studies at St. Louis University and will be moving on to Regency in the fall of 2009.

Brent Otto, S.J., ’01 grew up in Framingham, Mass., and attended public school. His father, a Lutheran, became Catholic in 1992, receiving his First Communion the same year as Otto’s younger brother. Excelling at Holy Cross, Otto majored in history and won a prestigious Watson Fellowship to study Catholic education in Sri Lanka and India for a year. He then taught high school in Auburn, Mass., for several years before entering the Society of Jesus in 2004. He took first vows in 2006, studied at Fordham for two years and is now pursuing a master’s degree in Indian Studies at Columbia University.

Longtime Listener
I made the Spiritual Exercises at the end of my freshman year, and I also began one-on-one spiritual direction. I read Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life by Henri Nouwen. In my second year, God pushed me a lot. He told me that I needed to look at a vocation, that maybe He was calling me to be a priest. I wasn’t welcoming at first. Why? Poverty, chastity, obedience! But it was gnawing. I couldn’t get away from it. How do you explain to anyone ‘the call,’ or the content of your heart? Words are always going to come up short. As soon as I started listening, everything started to make sense. I was listening for a long time.

At first, I was reluctant to share with friends; that would mean an end to dating. But I was also very lucky because my friends were people with whom I didn’t just have a good time, but with whom I could share deeper things. That was a great support. Holy Cross provides the kind of space where one can dabble with an idea, undertake a discernment, without feeling self-conscious or feeling pressure of one sort or another—for or against. The Jesuits at Holy Cross were very good in that way. I felt affirmed that this was a choice I had to make—100 percent certainty comes … never. For anything! We have to take a little risk, where we feel quite convinced that God IS where God is leading us.”

Michael Rogers, S.J., ’02 is the “old man” in this crop of new Jesuits—not in terms of his age, but because he’s been in the Society the longest. Growing up in Wethersfield, Conn., as the oldest of three siblings (including brother Fran ’08), he attended Catholic schools throughout his life. A philosophy/religious studies major at Holy Cross, Rogers entered the Society the August after graduation, which is unusual; for most candidates, there is a several-year break between college and the novitiate. He now holds a master’s degree in philosophy from St. Louis University and teaches religion at Boston College High School. His Facebook page includes a “countdown clock” until his expected 2013 ordination.

Not if, but When
During high school, I went to a couple of vocation meetings in the Archdiocese of Hartford. During my sophomore year in college, I started thinking seriously about it. More and more, it started to make sense and click. I also dated a woman on and off for three years. When I was a junior, I went to Mexico with Holy Cross, and I found myself praying the Magnificat; things started to make sense to me. I remember standing at the Shrine of Guadeloupe, thinking about my life, and realizing that this was what God was calling me to do. I spent senior year discerning—not IF I should enter the Society, but when.

I spoke with [former chaplain] Fr. Ford, Fr. McKeon, Fr. Vodoklys. I joined the Discernment Group when it was formed—it was really wonderful to be able to talk with other guys about what we were thinking about, what we were praying about. There were seven or eight people that first year, and about half discerned that this wasn’t what God was calling them to, which was good in itself. My friends were also very supportive. There were times when I’m not sure I could have remained a Jesuit if it weren’t for friends telling me they were praying for me.”

Kevin Spinale, S.J., ’00 is an Arlington, Mass., native and a graduate of St. Agnes School and Boston College High. He is the youngest of five children by 10 years. It might be said that, at Holy Cross, he had a double major in classics—and rugby. After college, Spinale joined the Peace Corps and taught English in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania. Returning to the United States, he became a Peace Corps fellow at Columbia University, earning a master’s degree while teaching full time at a public school in Brooklyn. He joined the Jesuits in August 2005 and is now studying at Regis College at the University of Toronto.

A Long-awaited Call
During my time in New York City, I began to consider a vocation to the Society of Jesus. By virtue of my job in Romania and my grinding pace in New York, I spent a great deal of time in solitude. It was in this solitude that God found the space necessary to penetrate my consciousness and direct it toward Christ and the event of the Cross—for some reason, the reality of God's love and hope for humanity evident in Christ’s self-sacrifice would not leave me alone.

My vocation to the Society grew subtly. Folks who know me probably saw me predisposed to such a life, but I really was not interested in it initially. During my second year in New York, I contacted Fr. Brooks [Rev. John E Brooks, S.J., ’49, president emeritus] to see if I should look to graduate work in theology or look at the Society. His response was surprising: He said he thought that I would have called him about a possible vocation years before. He recommended that I begin to apply immediately. It took some time to tell my family and friends. I anticipated a negative reaction from most everyone, especially after the sex abuse scandals of recent years. I was nervous about what people would think of me: ‘What was wrong with him that he would consider religious life? Was something about his personality ill-formed or deformed?’ To my surprise, most people took pride in my decision. I am deeply grateful for the way my family and friends, especially the guys from my class at Holy Cross, have supported me so much over the last four years.”